Honestly, Abe, you really shouldn’t have tried so hard to preserve the Union. Maybe an amicable divorce would have been more suitable. After all, slavery wasn’t your issue when southerners bombarded Fort Sumter. It was an attack on the Federal Government. If you hadn’t have made such a fuss about it the Confederate States of America would be celebrating their Sesquicentennial. Slavery would have died a natural death and we wouldn’t be burdened with the cultural baggage of Dixie.
The Soviet Union couldn’t hold. Neither could the British Empire, the Ottoman Empire, the Holy Roman or Rome itself. The list is long. Check Wikipedia. There has never been a hodgepodge such as the Unites States of America. It’s not a melting pot; it’s a bowl of chunky homemade soup and sometimes the ingredient’s flavors conflict.
We can’t even agree on a single Top Forty radio list anymore. We are diverse and growing more diverse. In our democracy we elect a president and immediately half or more of the citizens hate him (only men, so far). Media fosters anger and discontent (good for a story) then points out that nothing is getting done. Let the South secede again. They can be forever Republican (sorry, Abe—different kind of Republican). They can restrict civil liberties, deregulate business, go to war with Mexico, listen to country and make Ronald Reagan’s birthday a National Holiday. They can have Atlanta as their capital and CNN can become the Confederate News Network. It all works out.
The other red states can break down into the United States of Montana and the United States of Corn. The old Blue States that ring the Great Lakes and hug the coasts will remain the Unites States of America. Four countries living in harmony on the same continent like Germany and France, Russia and Poland. Then, maybe, we can get something done after two Hundred and Thirty-Six years of bickering.
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